a permission slip for mother's day

Dear you,

You've been on my mind for weeks now. Mother's Day is headed towards you like a wrecking ball and you're bracing yourself for the hit.

You-who's going to spend another Mother's Day without children.

You-who will spend your first Mother's day mourning the loss of your baby or child.

You-who lost your mom this past year and will be taking flowers to a grave rather than your sweet mama herself.

You-a new mom feeling frazzled and anxious and wondering why no one told you it would be this hard.

You-who aren't on the list above but are dreading Sunday for whatever reason.

I know you feel alone in your sadness. It's so hard to feel like the only one grieving while everyone else enjoys a picture-perfect holiday.


You, my friend, get an excused absence this year.

It's okay if you don't go to church and watch all the other mothers stand and get roses. You're excused.

It's totally fine if you don't go to a big family lunch with all your happy relatives who get to live blissfully unaware of loss and tragedy. You're excused.

It is acceptable to not gather your children in their matching smocked outfits and take smiling happy pictures to post on Facebook in order to join the ranks of all the other social media posters. You're excused.

In fact, it's ok to do whatever you need in order to take care of yourself. Here is your permission slip!

I must warn you, however, this comes with a stipulation or two. (Because I'm bossy like that.)

You are not, for any reason, allowed to feel guilty. At all. Period.

You may NOT compare yourself to others on this day.

And finally, it is completely forbidden to feel sorry for yourself. 

You must be fully kind and loving towards you at all times of the day.

While the details of our stories may differ, I know what it is to suffer through Mother's Day. Don't make it harder on yourself by doing things just because a man-made holiday says you should. You are the boss of you and you are allowed to take care of yourself. No questions asked.

And finally, while I have you here and I'm telling you what to do with your life, I'd like to suggest you leave a little room for hope. Whatever you're going through and however you're feeling- you won't always feel this way. Our lives are stories and this is NOT your last chapter. So, whatever this year looks like, that's OK! But maybe write yourself another permission slip to hope for a different Mother's Day next year.

All my love,